Wednesday, August 13, 2008

And he loved her......

Genesis 24:67 And He loved her......



Isaac loved Rebekah. Love is a very powerful emotion. It is very important to be loved, to feel love, to have someone to love you. I know, I am fortuanate. I have a husband and children that really love me. The first moment I held Rachel,I felt a love, like no other. the first moment I held my husband, I felt a love like no other.



I didn't always have that love. Oh my parents loved me, but in a different way, a parental way. Not affectionate like a spouse. It is much different.



As I was heading off for Bible college, I dreamed of the love, the type a man loves a woman. I never recieved in in Bible College, I felt and was treated as unloveable, my dreamed was to be loved by a godly man, I was instead rejected, by many. I didn't turn my love, my desire towards Christ, who ought to be our first love. I turned it to self. After I left BC, I did get many dates, that isn't said to be prideful. It is true. But it was attention from the wrong type of men. It wasn't true love, it was worldly ungodly lust. Sickening as it may sound, but I got my desire filled, I treated as if I was loved. Love is powerful, it is strong, when doesn't feel it, they can often turn to drastic things such as I.

The Bible calls women the weaker vessel for a reason. We are weak. I am weak and I needed love. I didn't get it from the right type of man, so I sought after it from the wrong type.

I wasn't a great Christian, I wasn't bad either. I loved the Lord and wanted to serve Him, just not alone. After a pretty weak dating first year and half of BC, I wasn't ready to give up love, for God.I know that sounds really sad. It is the honest truth though. Why am I confessing this? Because this is a common problem with Female Bible College students. They are pressured into finding a man, consciously or subconsciously, and when they don't especially their first year, they feel like a failure, and worse, unloveable.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Free Rice

If you love vocabulary, you my like this free mind numbing game
www.freerice.org

What is your hughest level? mine was 39

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Mark

On saturday Aug 2nd, my nephew Mark Lee Allen passed away of 2 brain tumors at the age of 20. He is a remarkable young man, life cut short. I did talk to him about Christ he understood. He was intubated, so I really couldn't have a deep conversation. I am at peace knowing that he was at peace making his choice.
He choose when he was to die, he was taking off dialysis on Saturday morning and passed away in my sister's arms. They need alot of prayer right now. The funeral is tomorrow, pray God gives me courage and strength to comfort my family and wiotness as oppurtunity arises.